You are still sick
Monday
Day 3 at the hospital after 7 days at home
Yup, you read that right. I'm back in the hospital. Back in good old room 408. They must save this room just for me. It is the penthouse suite and I am, after all, probably one of their better paying customers. But, good view or not, I'm so ready to just be at home and stay there.
Seven days at home. I decided to just go all in. Live my normal life. I had the energy. Obviously they were wrong about the cancer. I was fine. I was healthy. I could go on with everyday life. Well, everyday normal life with a couple platelet transfusions. Surely, you all do that right? Totally normal. Well, I was wrong.
I AM STILL SICK!
Tuesday - platelets = 14 so we scheduled out-patient transfusion on Wednesday morning. No big deal, this will be easy.
Thursday - platelets = 1 so we head over to the hospital that afternoon for out-patient transfusion. No big deal, this will be easy. At least I won't have to get my blood checked again until Monday. No transfusions for the weekend!
Saturday
I woke up with some nasty looking blood blisters in my mouth and petechiae all over my legs. I decided I should just text my oncologist and see if I could wait until Monday to get my blood checked. Nope. No such luck. She wanted me to head to the ER to get a CBC. Well, this is going to be a long day. I figured it was my platelets and we would probably be in the ER for most of the day. Luckily, the littles had birthday party galore and could hitch a ride with a friend and the big kid could hang with grandma for the day. Which means, Zach could stay with me at the ER while we waited and waited and waited, because that's what ER's are for, and then get some platelets and go home.
Platelets = 1 They want me to stay overnight for observation. UGH. Fine, blood and platelets. I received 6 bags of platelets and 2 bags of blood over the next 24 hours. Maybe more, I don't even know at this point. Once they drugged me up with 50mg of Benadryl in my IV I was out of it. I don't remember anything that happened. This, of course, happened after a bad reaction. More shakes. More fevers. Of course, this has to happen at midnight when Zach was still here so he got ZERO sleep.
Sunday AM platelets = 4
Sunday PM platelets = 1
And then to today, Monday.
They finished giving me 3 bags of platelets (with 25mg Benadryl via pill instead, which was nicer because it didn't knock me out!) before drawing my blood.
Platelets = 3
Three, are you freaking kidding me? For those of you that don't know, that means 3,000 but I need at least 15 to go home and I should have between 140-400,000.
But, the good news is that the chemo is doing it's job. Yeah, is that the good news? UGH!
So, I mostly feel fine. My chest feels a little heavy (anxiety maybe, low RBC maybe). My brain feels foggy, I can't think straight or follow a conversation (Benadryl overdose maybe, chemo side effect). I'm not out walking 20,000 steps in the halls this time around (lack of energy maybe, depression and just feeling bitter at this whole situation maybe).
Oh, yeah, and on top of all of that, we're back to the stupid masks and no fresh produce or flowers because I'm neutropenic.
Ugh! I sound angry. Yeah, I probably am. My blood is dumb. And I am still sick. It doesn't matter how much I tell myself I'm fine or how many positive thoughts I have. I am still sick. When I break outta here, I need to remember that. I need to take it easy. I need to eat better. I need to drink water not margaritas. I need to treat my body like it is sick.
UGH. I hate this!
Will update again soon.
Love & Light.
😷😘 michelle
Day 3 at the hospital after 7 days at home
Yup, you read that right. I'm back in the hospital. Back in good old room 408. They must save this room just for me. It is the penthouse suite and I am, after all, probably one of their better paying customers. But, good view or not, I'm so ready to just be at home and stay there.
Seven days at home. I decided to just go all in. Live my normal life. I had the energy. Obviously they were wrong about the cancer. I was fine. I was healthy. I could go on with everyday life. Well, everyday normal life with a couple platelet transfusions. Surely, you all do that right? Totally normal. Well, I was wrong.
I AM STILL SICK!
 |
| The upside of all of this, I got to wear my Dracula LulaRoe leggings while getting a blood transfusion. Seriously, how appropriate is this! |
Thursday - platelets = 1 so we head over to the hospital that afternoon for out-patient transfusion. No big deal, this will be easy. At least I won't have to get my blood checked again until Monday. No transfusions for the weekend!
Saturday
I woke up with some nasty looking blood blisters in my mouth and petechiae all over my legs. I decided I should just text my oncologist and see if I could wait until Monday to get my blood checked. Nope. No such luck. She wanted me to head to the ER to get a CBC. Well, this is going to be a long day. I figured it was my platelets and we would probably be in the ER for most of the day. Luckily, the littles had birthday party galore and could hitch a ride with a friend and the big kid could hang with grandma for the day. Which means, Zach could stay with me at the ER while we waited and waited and waited, because that's what ER's are for, and then get some platelets and go home.
Platelets = 1 They want me to stay overnight for observation. UGH. Fine, blood and platelets. I received 6 bags of platelets and 2 bags of blood over the next 24 hours. Maybe more, I don't even know at this point. Once they drugged me up with 50mg of Benadryl in my IV I was out of it. I don't remember anything that happened. This, of course, happened after a bad reaction. More shakes. More fevers. Of course, this has to happen at midnight when Zach was still here so he got ZERO sleep.
Sunday AM platelets = 4
Sunday PM platelets = 1
And then to today, Monday.
They finished giving me 3 bags of platelets (with 25mg Benadryl via pill instead, which was nicer because it didn't knock me out!) before drawing my blood.
Platelets = 3
Three, are you freaking kidding me? For those of you that don't know, that means 3,000 but I need at least 15 to go home and I should have between 140-400,000.
But, the good news is that the chemo is doing it's job. Yeah, is that the good news? UGH!
So, I mostly feel fine. My chest feels a little heavy (anxiety maybe, low RBC maybe). My brain feels foggy, I can't think straight or follow a conversation (Benadryl overdose maybe, chemo side effect). I'm not out walking 20,000 steps in the halls this time around (lack of energy maybe, depression and just feeling bitter at this whole situation maybe).
Oh, yeah, and on top of all of that, we're back to the stupid masks and no fresh produce or flowers because I'm neutropenic.
Ugh! I sound angry. Yeah, I probably am. My blood is dumb. And I am still sick. It doesn't matter how much I tell myself I'm fine or how many positive thoughts I have. I am still sick. When I break outta here, I need to remember that. I need to take it easy. I need to eat better. I need to drink water not margaritas. I need to treat my body like it is sick.
UGH. I hate this!
Will update again soon.
Love & Light.
😷😘 michelle
Ugh so frustrating... I guess this is why they call it a fight! Be angry. Be sad. Just don’t forget how many of us are praying for you everyday. We love you! You’ve got this!
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