Round 4 sucks
Thursday
Day 04 of 4th (AND FINAL) consolidation chemo
I heard the last round of chemo was the easiest. I think it sucks.
Maybe it's that whole forgetting how crappy things were the first time around.
Maybe it's because I can anticipate things (feeling cruddy and sleepy and just generally blah) will be coming so I'm bitter about it.
Maybe it's because I know that I just have to suck it up and finish up this last little bit then I am free, but I just don't wanna!
Maybe it's because I'm running out of things to watch on Netflix.
Maybe it's because I'm starting to think everything about me is cancer now. I tried to write a story, more like a journal entry I suppose, that should have nothing to do with cancer, my diagnosis, but it all started to go that direction. I don't want everything to be about cancer.
Maybe it's because now that we've gotten through 6 months of treatment I want this to be all OVER. I expect this to be DONE. I'm scared to relapse. The idea of relapsing wasn't floating around my head as much before I think because I just had to get this part done. Well, it's almost done. Now what?
Maybe I'm just sick of being in the hospital.
Face timing with the boys every day helps.
Getting pictures from Zach of home life helps.
Having a Valentine's date night and talking and spending time with Zach helps.
Will update again soon.
Love & Light.
😷😘 michelle
Day 04 of 4th (AND FINAL) consolidation chemo
I heard the last round of chemo was the easiest. I think it sucks.
Maybe it's that whole forgetting how crappy things were the first time around.
Maybe it's because I can anticipate things (feeling cruddy and sleepy and just generally blah) will be coming so I'm bitter about it.
Maybe it's because I know that I just have to suck it up and finish up this last little bit then I am free, but I just don't wanna!
Maybe it's because I'm running out of things to watch on Netflix.
Maybe it's because I'm starting to think everything about me is cancer now. I tried to write a story, more like a journal entry I suppose, that should have nothing to do with cancer, my diagnosis, but it all started to go that direction. I don't want everything to be about cancer.
Maybe it's because now that we've gotten through 6 months of treatment I want this to be all OVER. I expect this to be DONE. I'm scared to relapse. The idea of relapsing wasn't floating around my head as much before I think because I just had to get this part done. Well, it's almost done. Now what?
Maybe I'm just sick of being in the hospital.
Face timing with the boys every day helps.
Getting pictures from Zach of home life helps.
Having a Valentine's date night and talking and spending time with Zach helps.
Will update again soon.
Love & Light.
😷😘 michelle
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